I forgot how hot balto sounded
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
