I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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