it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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