You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
