i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
