if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize