I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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