no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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