Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
