I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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