So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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