"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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