She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.