This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
