I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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