But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
