I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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