He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize