i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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