Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize