does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
