just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
