Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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