After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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