Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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