How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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