he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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