I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
