I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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