I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
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I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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