is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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