didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
