Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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