the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
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If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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