On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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