so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
