Already got asked if we're dating
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
