with your own penis?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
a search helicopter?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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