so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
