some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize