god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We named our party play list daddy issues
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He passed out mid-signature
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
