the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
