If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
this just has baby written all over it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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