Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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