I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i think i just lost a toe
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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