Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
