My hair reeks of homosexuality.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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