I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
