You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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