I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
