I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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