I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
