chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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