I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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