I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
