you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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