she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
