so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
