I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
