ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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