You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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